OK, skipping over all the stuff that has happened since my last real update, I have decided on a few things to do with this ever so coveted free space of mine on the World Wide Web (thank you Al Gore, you made the world a better place for me)
The first thing I am going to do is stop whining about what happened to me, what is new in my life, and what my day was like, that shit is boring, I am going to write about things that pique my intrest, and the occasional crazy but funny shit I do.
The second thing I am going to do is stop writing about the illegal things I have done, because writing them on here got me in trouble, which was bad news, I will only write about the semi-legal things I have done, such as things that are legal when I am older, if you want to know about all my misdemeanors and felonies, consult the JPD.
The third thing I am going to do is promise quality posts, no more bullshit, and I pledge to make it funnier, more appealing and less gay...
On to the election......
The day is Nov. 2, Kerry just lost Joplin High School in a landslide, i found out some wonderful things about my school today, that being 2/3 of the school are fucking morons. Kerry was beaten worse than a bunch of midgets in a game of basketball. But, who gives a rats ass about the election at Joplin High School, because it is in a conservative section of the US, and Kerry will win the Presidancy anyways... You read it here first America, with 1% of the precincts in and Bush winning the electoral vote 39 - 3, I say John F. Kerry will win the election. (editors note, this is now the 4th, Kerry lost, i am now adding a giant "Fuck You" section at the end of this)
Since Erection '04 (VERY PORNISH, NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR SCHOOL) is almost over, I am moving my big beautiful hazel eyes on to Election 2008. Who will be running? Who will win? Will I still be single by then? The answers are all the same, yes.
Who will be running - I think that since both parties will have realized that celeberties make better canidates, they will run two celeberties in election '08. The Republicans, seeing Ahnolds success in "Kahlifornya" will most definatly nominate him for their party's canidate. Democrats on the other hand, not being very bright about holding the power in the highest executive office will put Ben Affleck up as their party's canidate. Why Ben? He is an outspoken Democrat and Red Sox fan that has made many wonderful box office blockbusters such as Gigli and Paycheck, not a washed up shitty ugly ass actor who got played by the loosest star in Hollywood, and then there was Jennifer Lopez, the loosest star in Puerto Rico too....
I just realized that I will only be 20 when election 2008 rolls around, which is really getting me down, because that means I am not legal to vote drunk. If I had to make a sober decision between Arnold and Ben, I might just not vote....of course then P Diddy will cap my white cracka ass, so I will be in a bind. I will probably get drunk anyways, and then when vote for Ben, sell my soul to the devil, and become a man named Big Lou's bitch, not necisarilly in that order.
Of course by that point I will have most likely rescended into rampant alcoholism and whoring myself out to fat women for 100 bucks a piece to support it, and have completely forgotten that there was such a thing as democracy. (wait I forgot, there isnt, the electon was stolen again, democracy is dead, long live Ronald)
(The following is adult in nature and very dirty, I am sorry if i offend you and this makes you think less of me, I am sorry, but I have some pent up anger and need to get rid of it)
Of course, the odds are that won't happen, and you will be casting your vote for Wynhausen/Davis 2020, just because I am badass and would win the election, make the world Utopia, and Detroit would still be hell. More on my election aspirations later...but now I have a GIANT FUCK YOU section for people i hate right now:
Fuck you Karl Rove, you are a fucking DICK, you are a shady ass man who does nothing but assasinate the character of those who you don't like, and make the bad canidate win, you are evil.
Fuck you Dick Cheyney, you are evil, I hate you, you are so bad you turned your daughter lesbian, you are corrupt and you are a greedy greedy man.
Fuck you George Bush, you are a puppet, you will drive the world to hell, I hope you get impeached, and lose your repuation.
Fuck you Donald Rumsfeld, you are the devils representative on Earth, and you are a pathological liar.
Fuck you Diebold Voting Systems, I could fucking hack your servers, and I know nothing about hacking, nice work throwing the election for the Dick and the Son of a Bush.
Fuck you Ben Affleck, I hate you die and rot in hell.
Fuck you Fox News, I want to drop trou and squeeze a cleveland steamer on the chest of that really hot conservative anchor.
Fuck you country music, making people commit suicide since 1901, you bastards.
Fuck you Tony Blair, I hate you, and the English parliament too.
Fuck you Eminem, I dont know why, but you would say the same thing to me.
Fuck you Paul Wolfowitz, you dont get the name "Prince of Darkness" for nothing.
Fuck you Satan, you have yet to defeat me on the field of battle, you owe me a salad tossing.
Fuck you MU, Nebraska beat you, you SUCK. (go big red)
Fuck you everything i forgot to mention, I will get to you sooner or later.....
*WHEW* i am glad i got that off my chest, sorry for all the explitives and the porn, i promise to make the next one PG-13. Until next time my faithful readers who have waited for a post these past few months...Sorry about the length, I am a novelest, what can I say...
Peace, Love, Harmony, the color green, and the color red, the color blue, and music...
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