Well, I had an interesting revelation last night, I looked at that picture I posted of me looking like the better half of a monkeys ass, and I realized I kinda looked like Courtney fucking Love herself. The queen of drug and alcohol abuse herself, the psycho bitch who killed one of the most influential rock stars ever. I look like Courtney Love in all her drunken, blonde headed, ugly ass bitchy hoe glory (minus the rather impressive breasts), honestly I feel like jumping off the Twin Towers, but to bad they are gone. After 10 minutes of seeing my hair blonde, I realized that I had just made a HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE! The interesting thing was, I had Sampson like powers with the ladies before I got it dyed, I could fling my hair around like Fabio, but now I am like a simple trailer park trash Fabio, life sucks.
Saturday: I don't remember what happened Saturday, I wrote a bunch of junk down on my little notepad, but I don't remember which things happened on which days, so for Saturday lets just say I was at the Playboy Mansion partying with the Hef. Oh wait, I think that Saturday was also my last day of work at that shit hole also known as Casa Montez, I am finally free from the constraints of work, wait, I suddenly have a $700 car bill to pay? FUCK!!
Sunday: Sunday was the fateful day I had my hair dyed, it started out normal, then Saysan showed up with PERMANENT BLEACH. Like a moron I let her and Anissa go ahead and have their way with my luscious locks, turning them me into the white, trailer park trash, meth dealer I am today. Instead of having nice sandy blonde hair, it ended up orangish and not all that smooth...
Monday: Monday I woke up bright and early to go to soccer camp at 8:30 AM, lets just say that people were stupefied by the change I had gone through, the first things out of coach Mac's mouth were, "Sprint! How is the meth lab going", at that point I broke down and started crying, remembering how cruel coach Mac really is. We ran our asses off in the 90 degree 10 o'clock heat and it was great, I miss soccer, even though I am so bad at it I wouldn't qualify for the Special Olympics soccer team. Maher and I took my car to the mechanic to get it checked out, and I awaited my call the next day...
Tuesday: Soccer camp again, lots of running, and sometime during the mix of it all I got a phone call from the mechanic, the wiring in my car was melted into one giant ball of plastic and slag, also known as: Your car is incredibly fucked up and we are going to overcharge your ass for the repair. Their estimate was 300-700 dollars, I figured that wasn't all that bad to have the car fixed and be able to be free to drive around on my own again without trouble, I told the mechanic "Go for it." Which also means: I know you are overcharging me for this repair, but I don't give a rats posterior. The rest of the day was a total and complete blur, I remember sleeping a lot, and Thomas was there a lot of the time.
Wednesday: Well since soccer camp was all week, just assume I went, and I would like to thank the people supporting me with rides during all this, just remember you all still owe me until my car is fixed or I buy a new one. That day after soccer Shayan, Thomas, and I all decided to go see Spiderman 2 at 1:30. So I just head out with Thomas, we get to the theater all excited. Watched the previews, were incredibly stoked, I applauded and cheered when the opening credits came on and got dirty looks from the other 2 and a half people in the theatre, other than our little clique. (they were old, so they probably were giving me a dirty look anyways) I was so incredibly stoked for the movie, waiting to see Spiderman kick the living hell out of a rather chubby man with mechanical arms, which are somehow immune to magnetism and heat...After about 10 minutes I found out this movie was corny, incredibly corny, in fact, it had more corn than Fat Bastard's crap. So after some buildup, and a subplot of Spiderman's powers diminishing, with not as much action as I wanted, I started to get a little disappointed. So at the end of the movie, I was saddened by the fact there was not as much action as there seemed to be in the preview, and that it focused more on Peter Parkers love life. If I wanted to see a movie about love, I would watch Cold Mountain. If I want to see a movie about Spiderman, I want to see him kicking bad guys ass nonstop, although I do like the way it set itself up for a sequel, hopefully the creators read this and say "this little shit is right, it needs more action" After that Thomas and I met up with Maher at the Chexican, the new chinese/mexican place (where the sombrero meets the samurai, even though they are Japanese) I was surprised to find out that Patricia Pham works there, and in fact her extended PHAMily (nice pun, thanks maher) own the place. So we all chilled there and then were incredibly sick later in the night, for some reason Mexican and Chinese food at the same buffet table sounds much less appeasing after you have eaten it.
Thursday: Lets see, we went to the chexican again for team bonding, I feel like a moron, I've felt bad all day. I got a call from the mechanic and they had some important information for me about my little rice burning car...the repair would cost over 1200 dollars. I told them to stop repairs, I would pay for the diagnosis, and the half hour they had put into it already (103 bucks), I drove it home and parked it underneath a tree, waiting for someone (me) to crawl underneath and pull out basically every bit of wiring, then pull out the dashboard and all that wiring, then completely fuck up, i mean rewire the whole thing. So basically I am without a car until I can get my ass into gear and try to fix it. Lets see, that was like 6 days ago, I really don't remember anything else from that day except that the soccer team went to the Chexican
Alright, all that shit is old news, meant to be posted 6 days ago...I will update sometime in the next couple of days about the badass weekend in KC.
1 comment:
When are you goin to stop fuckin around and make a new entry? Seriously, you need to get back on your lazy ass. Slacker!
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