Radiohead

It is that magical time of your night again, where you forget everything else and sit your ass down in front of a glowing screen to read what is new with me, a boy who sucks at soccer, enjoy. Today had morning weights again, upper body day, I surprised myself by doing 115 pounds on the bench press one time, it will never happen again, freak accident. After that I came home, and (illegally, damn curfew rules) snuck downstairs and took a nap on the sofa in my dads office until about 3. Then I left and spent the next 3 hours on the town, going to the bank, getting gas, stopping by Subway to get the BLT footlong for $3.21, of course I should've realized I had a soccer game in 1 hour by that point, and the extra jalepenos wouldn't help my game. So at the game I sucked it up as usual, I may have looked flashy burning girls and then passing the ball to the freshman who subsequently lost it. I probably should've had 5 assists that game, and 2 goals, but ended up with one assist. I guess it was kinda funny when one of the girls from their team laid me flat on my ass, but she tackled me football style from my back, and it was with good form too, Coach Tifert would have been proud, so I can still keep my masculinity. Needless to say we won the game 4-0 and it was our teams first victory, ironically it was only the second time I had actually played for that team...

It is now time for that random funny part I decided to start including in my blog post every day. Today's topic will involve quotable quotes from my dad, many who have been to my house have heard them, and will recognize some of the more popular ones...
"The hula hoop goes around many times, but we only go around once" - Yes, he said it, it is the worst metaphor, or whatever figure of speech that is, that I have ever seen, he is comparing life to a fucking hula hoop, terribly. The hula hoop goes around many times? Why do we only go around once? What the hell are you talking about dad?
"What are you talking about, Aaron doesn't have any testicles" - Screw you dad, don't say that in front of my friends, you honestly don't want me to call when I stick you in a retirement home. (something along these lines has been said many times, with friends present)
"If you ever want to do drugs, do them with us" - Alright, should I be excited to sit there and get stoned or tripped out with my parents? "Hey dad, you wanna go down to the corner, score some X and get fucked up with me?" That is incredible family fun, i recommend every kid convince their parents to do drugs with them.
"Going into the sauna naked with family is natural" - Maybe in the deepest pits of hell...
"I like the softcore porn because it only teases you, that hardcore stuff makes me horny to fast, but the see through panty shots are good, because they are artsy" - Artsy? Why the hell is my dad looking at porn on the internet with his 12 year old son and his friends in the room?
"Whenever you masturbate to a fantasy with a girl you know she receives some of the energy that you release during the masturbation, and that energy can make her be wary of you, since you two have touched consciousness" - Someone is still missing the days on the commune.
"What are you talking about? Aaron is gay!" - Why the hell do you say this in front of friends, come on, you do know I get all sorts of grief for that stuff.
"Don't ever wax your ass" - Have you tried?!
"Jesus Christ was in actuality a mushroom" - Wow, you sound dumber than Dubya, and that is hard.
There are many many more quotable quotes from my dad, some are a little bit to explicit or controversial to even post in this blog, which is bad because I will say just about anything. So there you have it, my dad is fucked up. If anyone remembers any more, just post them in the comments section anonymously if you don't have an account.

Latest news: My dad bought Shayan's bass amp, he used it for 5 minutes, and it will now gather dust for the next 25 years.

Nut Watch: They are back to normal, i hope never to take a pill shot again.

Alright "Brat", nice to have a seminar buddy here, so can I still sign your chest?

I reached my soccer playing peak during sophomore year, it will all be downhill from there.

Best Buy is never going to call, time to annoy the hell out of them until they get fed up and give me an interview.

I'm a direct descendant of William Clark, best recognize!

Currently listening to: Radiohead - Paranoid Android (I have listened to Radiohead a lot recently)

Currently Reading: The Boys of Summer (Its about the Brooklyn Dodgers the year they signed Jackie Robinson)

Currently smelling:Me...ewwww

Currently eating: Strawberry yogurt

Currently craving: More damn yogurt

Currently talking to: Chelsea and Ashley E

George Bush, you and my father are fucking morons.

Peace, Mushrooms, Sprint