5 day hiatus

It has been 5 long days since I last updated, and they have been some of the most crazy days of the summer so far. I have been to busy to update recently, and this will be a long post, just a warning, I will break it up into days for convenience.
Saturday: On Saturday, Maher came over in the afternoon, and we went out to get some sushi, on the way out we made the fateful decision to talk to my dad, and Maher said the most stupid thing which I have ever heard in my life. As a joke, he said "The best way to punish Aaron would be to take away his cell phone." My dad instantly agreed and took the cell phone from Maher's outstretched hands, so as of right now, I still don't have my cell phone back, and am currently suffering from cell phone withdrawal. Later, I went to work, it was very easy and fun for some reason, after that I rushed on over to a Russian party that my parents friends were having, so began the fun. At the party there were a lot of people, most of them I had never met, and didn't bother even trying to talk to since they were Russian, old, and drunk; whilst I was 16, American, and sober. There were a couple of exceptions, such as the 16 year old, incredibly fine Russian girl who spoke no English whatsoever, but tried to talk to me nonetheless, it involved a lot of shaking of the head and pointing at various objects. So then her mom thought I would make a great tutor for this hot Russian girl, who spoke no English, I immediately, (being male), thought it was a great idea, the only problem was I don't know any Russian. So I have no been chartered as a tutor to a Russian girl my age, and neither one of us can speak the others language...this will be a lot of fun. Also at the party there was a LOT of alcohol, and I managed to sneak some out, but it disappeared the next night very fast I'm sad to say...The main selling point of this party was not the alcohol, or the Russian girls, or even the two young American girls, it was the $6,000 dollars worth of fireworks that the host of the party had bought. He had everything that shot out flaming balls high into the sky, he had them set up into 3 stations, the giant boxes filled with gunpowder, the artillery shells, and the incredibly giant boxes filled with gunpowder. I was running the artillery shell section, and there were a lot of them, 14 different tubes to be exact, and I had to keep them going nonstop. Needless to say, the fourth one i put in was upside down, and I didn't realize it until I saw the sparks fly up into the air, and no giant buttplug rocketed out. I was maybe right next to it when that happened, and I just stood frozen for a second and thought to myself, "I am SO fucked", so after the second of fear, I simply dove away in the first clear direction, suddenly there was a huge flash, and a giant boom, and little flaming balls started flying in every direction. When the explosion occurred I was about 3 feet away, and the little flaming balls shot right at me, somehow I got incredibly lucky, and they just burned the hell out of my arm and my work shirt, if I had not been wearing a shirt, I would've had more than just 5 places where the flaming balls stuck to my skin. So when I got up, half of the tubes were completely vaporized, and my ears were ringing so loud I couldn't hear the explosions from the other two stations that were shooting at the same time. Needless to say, the show went on, and I simply sucked up the pain from the burn and kept on burning up that rich man's money.

Sunday:Sunday morning started off with a huge storm, one which I like to call Hurricane Sprint. It woke me up at about 6:50, and I put some clothes on, and just went outside to watch the storm which i named after myself, it was actually quite a beautiful sight, seeing the trees ripped to splinters, the wind howling in every direction, the hail pounding my car, it rocked. I guess god was a little pissed about the fact that his firework plan didn't kill me, (I'm to quick bitch), the storm subsided after about a half an hour, the sun came out, and all was happy again. After that I went back to sleep, and woke up again around 1, walked down to Jorn and Anissa's house and we all decided to go pick up to bottles of alcohol which he had taken from the gigantic stash that was left when My Club went down, (their parents owned it), the problem was it was way out in Carl Junction at their grandmothers house, so we all decided to go out and pick it up. When we got there, the bottles were missing, and we didn't want to leave empty handed, so we decided to break into her garage, and make off with some liquor. So after about 10 minutes of unsuccessful attempts, I decided to get a ladder, and climb up to the attic window. After I made it up there, I simply punched through the screen, ripped it out, and did a pull-up to get up by the window, then I somehow wriggled myself through the 1 foot wide opening and climbed down to the ground floor, where I was greeted by the sight of more alcohol in one place than I had ever seen, other than in a liquor store, which this could've passed for. I quickly opened a window and we scrambled inside and made off with 8 full bottles of alcohol, 4 Baccardi of various types, 2 Whiskeys, 1 vodka, and one tequila. After that we high-tailed it out of there, since we had just broke and entered a...shed. So yes, I robbed a grandmother, am I more of a badass for doing so? I don't know but i can now say I robbed a fucking grandmother. (Although my mom is older than their grandmother, it was a storage shed, she doesn't drink, and she probably would've given us some if she had been home and we had asked.) After that, we all chilled and watched Anger Management for a bit, then I waited till about 9 o'clock and went out to Eric's house for the party he was supposed to be having. I got there and there were no cars, so I knew something was up, Alex was in the driveway and he told me that the party had been moved to Carthage. I had brought a bottle of Baccardi Limon which we had taken earlier in the day. So we drove all the way out to Carthage, and the party was at this HUGE ASS mansion, with a bunch of people I didn't know besides the ones I showed up with, and Katherine and Lauren. They decided to kick all the people under 21 out after a bit, so we got one of the older guys to buy us two twelve packs, and we all headed back to Tommy's where a nice sized party brewed. At Tommy's we lit off some fireworks and had a good time until i went home...

Monday:Monday I slept in to about 12, and then Maher came over for a bit, we shot off some fireworks, and then we went down to Jorn's and shot off some more fireworks until Jorn's dad thought it would be funny to hit us with bottle rockets, repeatedly, those little fuckers hurt when they hit you, and I ruined my second shirt on the wonderful holiday dedicated to blowing shit up. So we all ran up to my house and called Jonnah, she told us that Eric was having a party, and that we should all go over there. So we all went into my car and showed up at a bitchen party. Maher and Jorn took my car to get some of the liquor which we took from the grandma, (god i can't believe i stole from a grandmother), and I stayed there and met some people, namely Whitney and Samantha from Willard, they were really cool girls, and we talked for a long time. Then someone had the wonderful idea to play a little Circle of Death, and awesome drinking game, I joined in figuring, I was well overdue for a drinking game, and joined in, it was a lot of fun. Basically for the rest of the night I just talked to people outside until Jorn got sick and I had to take him home, I am also never taking Jorn to a party again, he is a chain-smoking alcoholic moron, and the little pecker puked on my car. After we got him home, Maher and I headed back to the party for a bit, then went home and slept for the huge day that was coming, Worlds of Fun day.

Worlds of Fun day: I woke up bright, early, and hungover. Maher and Hannah came and we started the long trek up to north KC to get to the world where fun times are scarce the 8th time you have been there. The second ride we rode got us soaked (it was new, and really cool though), the Orient Express was gone, and it was 5 dollars for a wimpy hamburger. Other than that, we all had a great time, being with your friends only, with no one looking over your shoulder and keeping you in check, we could do anything. Basically we rode every ride in the park once or twice, and the Mamba 4 times, it was great. Another high point of the trip was watching the two sparrows have sex on top of a sign while in line for the Mamba. They were really going at it, and it was actually kind of sick, because I could see the bird's vagina, and it was loose, so the male bird must've been carrying quite a package, he was a regular Rasputin. I don't really want to go into to much detail here, but I will say that they tried doggy style and missionary, the train took off before the moneyshot though. The trip was a lot of fun, and we had a great time, even though we could've used a fourth person so I wouldn't have to ride alone on the roller coaster, but it was all good. We all came home and were incredibly tired, but Maher and I visited Caitlin and her friend, watched some family guy, and went home to bed.

Today: I sat around and did nothing, Irina my parents friend is staying with us from Russia, and my dad's friend Jim came to visit for a bit from New Mexico, I will talk about them later, they are interesting individuals...


I am going to skip a funny section and a latest news section for today, since I wrote a fucking novel for the rest of it, so if you are looking for the part where I try to be funny, bite me you no talent ass clown. So don't wake me I plan on sleeping in...
Peace, The Postal Service, Sprint