I'm Rockin' the Suburbs

Alright people still reading my blog, I am going to start updating more often, because the magic is kinda gone when I don't....

Thursday: I forgot what I did Thursday, strange...
Friday: I went to work, showed up an hour late, that is the exact same shit that got me fired from Shakey's. Other than that I don't remember either...i must be getting alzheimers, shit...
Saturday: I went to Hastings and got a birthday present for Jessica, went to work, again, then after that Kristy called me and told me about a bitchen party out in Silver Creek. I went on out there, got directions through the maze that was out there, nearly died when the road sharply turned. After I got to the party many of my McAuly and TJ friends were there, we all hung out for a long time and had fun, it was good. After that I found my way home and then went over to Caitlin's for a bit, then went home.
Sunday: Slept in to about 3:30, then went to work at 5, talked to Kristy for a bit, and now here I sit, life fucking rocks doesn't it?

In my last post I promised to tell everyone about Jim and Irina, completely different people, with fucked up stories...

Jim: He has been my dads friend for many years, since they both lived in Lincoln. Jim is an incredibly interesting person, he is an intense chain smoker, goes through maybe 2 packs a day. He claims to be psychic, and is always telling us about his strange visions, or his encounters with ghosts. He is the biggest conspiracy theorist on this side of of the Mason Dixon Line, he is pretty much second only to my cousin who lives in Portland and was perpetually on heroin for about 12 years of his life. Jim never wears deodorant, and it gets so fucking nasty, that if you are down wind from him you pass out. Jim visited us about two years ago, and brought his wife Mary, who apparently was also incredibly psychic, yet she couldn't foresee her own death. She died on out property whilst they were staying here taking care of the animal, it is strange, because Jim says he sees her ghost on our property when he is here, yet I have never seen a fucking poltergeist, so i think that Jim has just done to many drugs, or his perpetually body odor has affected his brain. Other than all of that, Jim is a very cool guy, and he is pretty hip with the happenings, when he isn't linking them to aliens, psychics, ghosts, black magic, and the dark side of the CIA.

Irina: My dad met Irina when we were in Russia when I was 6. They had an affair, my mom found out, and my parents almost broke up and they had a long drawn out 3 year hate each other period. Then something weird happened, my mom and Irina became very good friends, in fact, they were like best friends, and it created a love triangle between them. Now, since they are all over 50, you can imagine that is some NASTY ASS SHIT. I walked in on them all once, watching a fucking porno, and rubbing each other, I mean come on, these are my damn parents and this Russian lady that had an affair with my dad when I was 6. So basically I really don't like her, I don't care how much of a nice lady she is. Because of her and my dad, I practically cried myself to sleep every night because I was afraid my dad was going to run off with Irina, and leave me and my mom. Irina is a badass cook, I will admit that, she can fuck my dad all she wants as long as she cooks me a real meal, not this vegetable shit my mom makes. Irina cooks some hardcore Russian food, that and cleaning the kitchen is all she is good for.

Latest news: I put in my 2 weeks notice at Casa Montez, which made me incredibly happy, I am now going to be rid of that smoky grease pit. The most unmexican Mexican restraunt ever, it is a fucking MexiCANT!!

I think i set a record for saying the word "fuck" in this post, i don't know why i even feel like using it so much tonight.

I am still a fucking Japanese cowboy.

Bobby Buffets ex girlfriend tried to add me on that annoying Hi5 shit (it breeds stalkers), i didn't let her because she has more of a moustache than me...

I lost my drivers license, so basically I am not legal to drive right now.

I stopped by that little "party" store by Hastings, and I expected to pick up some hardcore party stuff, I walk in there and ask for a few things, the conversation went a little like this:
Sprint: Um, hey, can you point me in the direction of the kegs? I looked all over the store, I figured they would be between the cards and the candy, but I couldn't find them...
Worker: Excuse me sir? I don't believe we sell those...
Sprint: Oh alright, so can you show me where the beer bongs are, the closest thing I saw were these little funnel like things for blowing into and filling balloons...
Worker: What is a beer bong? (she was about 50)
Sprint: Never mind that, do you sell shot glasses, I am looking for triple shots, a friend of mine is having a party tonight, and he is a little low on shot glasses...
Worker: Sir, this isn't a liquor store, we sell goods for parties.
Sprint: God, what kind of parties do old people throw?! In that case, what can I buy here?
Worker: Would you like a bouquet of balloons?
Sprint: Can I get just one balloon?
Worker: Yes you can, the cost is $.79.
Sprint: Alright, I'll just take one of those, and this birthday card for my friend Jessica.
So basically that "party" store, isn't for parties at all, they sell no alcohol, and no alcohol periphanelia, the closest I could get would be plastic cups...

Currently listening to: The New Pornographers - From Blown Speakers

Currently reading: http://www.collegehumor.com/ (Gabe i need help putting links on here, my lack of html knowledge is fucking killing me on the template)

Currently eating: Some damn good mushroom shit Irina made, she needs to come to the US more often, then I could actually gain some damn weight.

Currently talking to: Chelsey, Steph, Brittany

Dick Cheney is fucking scary, and George W. Bush is a fucking moron.


Peace, New Porno, Sprint...